A gift for healing

My friend Alice is a gifted artist. She has experienced the loss of a stillborn. You can read about her here. Out of her grief of loss of her daughter, Grace, she created a beautiful pencil drawing of Jesus rocking a baby in heaven. She then had a company take that artwork and create a beautiful pewter medallion. I recommend her artwork for you to buy for yourself or for you to send to a grieving friend. Her website main page is here. She also has beautiful art work for other occasions. The Lord has gifted her with great artistic talent along with a great heart for people and a great heart for the Lord to be glorified.

I've just noticed that there are variations on the artwork - there is one drawing with an African American baby. There is also a drawing that has twins in Jesus' arms. You can see them all here.

Books and Resources for loss

I have compiled a list of books (the descriptions are copied and pasted from Christianbook.com 's description. After each book description, I've added a short text with extra comments. All of these books have been helpful at ministering to me and I've heard positive comments from others as well.

Holding on to Hope by Nancy Guthrie
Description: Shunning platitudes and easy answers, Nancy Guthrie deals head-on with the issues experienced by those who are going through suffering and loss. Through lessons drawn from the story of Job in the Bible, and the experience of losing her infant daughter, Hope, Nancy gently challenges readers to embrace suffering as a means of discovering a more meaningful relationship with God. Holding On To Hope offers an uplifting perspective, not only for those experiencing monumental loss, but for anyone going through difficulty and failure. Ms. Guthrie's story of losing her daughter Hope is woven beautifully throughout, adding a richness and credibility lacking in most books on suffering. After finishing the manuscript, the author added an epilogue that deals with an additional devastating loss--the death of her infant son Gabriel who died of the same disease that took her daughter Hope.

This book is a wonderful resource for the person/couple who is wanting to find a Biblical way to deal with the grief of their loss. This book has been very comforting to me in how I handle my grief from a Biblical viewpoint. I highly recommend this to anyone wanting to dig into God’s Word to work through their grief in a Biblical way.

For Those Who Hurt by Charles R. Swindoll
Description: Swindoll offers you words of hope about the painful subject of suffering. His look at Scripture encourages you or others you know who are struggling with grief to look to the God of all comfort for the meaning behind painful circumstances. Full-color nature photography enhances the inspiring message of this thoughtful gift book. 48 pages, paper from Zondervan.

*This is a great book for anyone suffering a trial - not just for loss of a baby. Great little book to encourage someone hurting. The ministry I work with also uses this book to minister to women suffering infertility.

Losing You Too Soon by Bernadette Keaggy
Description: Five months into her first pregnancy, Bernadette Keaggy, wife of Christian musician Phil Keaggy gave birth to three beautiful sons, but tragically they were stillborn. The Keaggys' experience mirrors that of many who have experienced stillbirth or miscarriage and don't know where to turn for hope and healing. In this book, Bernadette writes with candor about the hurt and confusion that shook her, Phil, and their marriage as they dealt with the eventual loss of five babies. Her story does not offer simple solutions, but an example of finding the strength and courage to go on. Interspersed with the Keaggys' story is practical advice for dealing with and recovering from loss. Poignant letters from other couples reveal different facets of grief and coping. Many people who have experienced such a loss know how hard it is to find someone who can truly understand what they are going through. For such readers, or those who seek to comfort them, this book is a source of profound encouragement and a reminder that God promises grace and hope in the midst of even the deepest pain.

*This book is comforting to read how a Christian couple has dealt with their grief and trusting God in giving them children. It's not sold on Christianbook.com, but Amazon lists other sellers who sell it.

Safe in the Arms of Jesus: God’s Provision for the Death of Those Who Cannot Believe by Robert P. Lightner
Description: Writing with a father's tenderness and the confident knowledge of a Bible scholar, Dr. Lightner brings comfort to parents who grieve. He goes beyond words of consolation to the truth that brings peace, explaining God's provision for the death of little ones who were unable to believe, either because they were too young or because they were mentally disabled.

*This book is helpful for anyone who is wanting Biblical truth in the salvation of their baby.

Broken Road

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9

What does "broken" mean? I looked up the definition of "broken" and found the following definitions:

• reduced to fragments; fragmented
• changing direction abruptly
• fragmentary or incomplete
• interrupted, disrupted, or disconnected
• weakened in strength, spirit

Broken is from the perspective of the person who is deciphering the situation. From my perspective, when my husband and I experienced our losses, our situation was broken. I could only see a tiny part of the big picture for my plan. In my eyes, death meant brokenness. Loss of dreams and expectations meant brokenness. I felt fragmented. I felt weakened in spirit. I felt broken. Are you feeling that way today? If so, let's look at the anchored hope that God has for you in your broken road.

God plans our steps as Proverbs 16:9 tells us. God knew the road my husband & I would take on our journey towards children. He had a master plan - it wasn't the plan I would have planned, but as I look back on the road, it's an even better plan than I could have imagined. He has grown me in my faith greatly. He has equipped me for ministry to others. He has given me a purpose and a great plan. He is abundantly good. But I would not be where I am now if it were not for the "broken" road I've been on in the past.

Do you feel broken today? God is there to listen to your broken heart. Psalm 34:18ays "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." God will bless your broken road. Look to Him and to His Word. He sees the big picture - He has a master plan - He will restore the time of grief - I have felt that restoration personally. Here is some scripture that speaks to me in a powerful way:

^{25 -27} "I'll make up for the years of the locust,
the great locust devastation— Locusts savage, locusts deadly,
fierce locusts, locusts of doom, That great locust invasion
I sent your way. You'll eat your fill of good food.
You'll be full of praises to your God, The God who has set you back on your heels in wonder.
Never again will my people be despised. You'll know without question
that I'm in the thick of life with Israel, That I'm your God, yes, your God,
the one and only real God.
Joel 2:25-27 The Message

God's ways are not our ways. God's plans are not our plans. And I praise God that my agenda isn't His agenda. His plan is abundantly better. Yes, He has allowed a broken road in your life. It's ok to grieve. But don't give up that anchored hope that He has an abundant plan for your life. He will take that broken road and lead you to a deeper faith in Him - to lead you to a life that He has for you. A life that is abundantly good.

Here is a song I came upon today which speaks to me - may it remind you of God's plan for your life - that He determines your steps and has allowed you down the broken road that leads you straight to Him and to His abundant life for you.

Bless the Broken Road by Selah

I set out on a narrow way, many years ago
Hoping I would find true love, along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn’t see how every sign, pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were just northern stars
Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
And led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent, just passing through
I’d like to take the time I lost, and give it back to you

But you just smile and take my hand
You’ve been there, you understand
It’s all part of his grander plan, that is coming true

Every long lost dream, led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were just northern stars
Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
And led me straight to you

Now I’m just rolling home
Into your loving arms
This much I know, is true
That God blessed the broken road
And led me straight to you
That God blessed the broken road
And led me straight to you

Experiential Knowledge

"If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as^[c] the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him." By this he meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in him were later to receive.
John 7:37-39

This morning I was listening to Dr. David Jeremiah. I am sure I didn't catch the quote exactly, but what I wrote down to remember was the following: God will not put us in a situation where He cannot sustain you. He will show Himself strong. He will give you experiential knowledge that will show you that you can do anything with His help.

As the verses from John 7 tell us, Jesus sent us the Holy Spirit to equip us and sustain us in our daily living. The Holy Spirit gives us streams of living water. Often in my humanness, I look for streams of water in other places - in hobbies, in other people, in stuff, in activities. Yet, the Lord has designed us to draw from His living water. Sometimes in order for us to draw from His streams of living water, He allows circumstances that brings us into valleys, where we can thirst for the Lord instead of the longing for drinks that don't fully satisfy.

I heard the below song today on the radio - waves of thankfulness rushed through my body - tears streamed down my eyes. I am honestly thankful for the valleys which I've gone through - especially those valleys of our four losses. Without those losses, I would not have experienced so much joy in ministering to others and in cherishing the blessings God has given to me. God has truly taken me from the valley and brought me to rivers of joy.

And now that I've had the experiential knowledge of seeing how God takes the valleys and brings rivers of joy, I find that I can draw from his strength and look to Him with greater hope than before. The combination of seeing how God has worked in the past in the lives of those in the Bible combined with my experience, grows my faith.

Now, I would not have used the word "thankful" while in the midst of heavy grieving. Please do not think that. Do not think that you need to feel thankful in the midst of heavy grief. Look to the Lord and His Word and in time you will be able to see how He's making something beautiful of the valley and you'll find rivers of joy. Look daily - moment by moment - He is surrounding you with things to be thankful for - spend some time thanking Him today. Even when we don't feel thankful, when we take time to focus on thankfulness, the feelings will eventually come. Everything takes time.

I pray this song blesses you.

I am praying for you.

Nicole






Valley Song by Jars of Clay

You have led me to the sadness
I have carried this pain
On a back bruised, nearly broken
I'm crying out to you

Chorus
I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy

When death like a Gypsy
Comes to steal what I love
I will still look to the heavens
I will still seek your face

But I fear you aren't listening
Because there are no words
Just the stillness and the hunger
For a faith that assures

Chorus x2

Alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia, alleluia

While we wait for rescue
With our eyes tightly shut
Face to the ground using our hands
To cover the fatal cut

And though the pain is an ocean
Tossing us around, around, around
You have calmed greater waters
Higher mountains have come down

Chorus

Yeah

Alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia, alleluia

Alleluia, alleluia alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia, alleluia alleluia, alleluia

Chorus (4 Xs)

Oh, Lord sing of Your mercy,
Mercy
Your mercy

Remembering our little ones in heaven

Dear ladies. I've been doing much reflecting these last couple of weeks. The time of spring is one of my favorite times of the year. Spring is so alive with hope and new life. There have been times, though, in the past decade of my life where spring has been bittersweet. You see, three of our precious little ones in heaven were expected to arrive in late April and in early May.

I've noticed in the past decade how grief crescendos for a while, but over time, the Lord's healing balm helps the grief to subside. It has a general pattern over time to decrescendo over time. It doesn't seem to completely go away, and at times surprises can cause that grief to creep up again; however, God is faithful. He has a great master plan. I've found that the more I look to Him - to who He truly is - to how He truly works - that the grief is overtaken with the joy of the Lord. I am one who is speaking as one who has been there. Please know there is hope. God knew your loss would happen. He allowed it. He has a great master plan for your life. Look to Him.

Also remember that He is the one who bottles your tears - He does not ask that you not cry or not grieve. Look to Him - He loves you and will comfort you so that He can grow you and one day you will extend that comfort to others who are grieving.

I love you ladies - I've been lifting you up to the Lord this week and weekend.

Nicole

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. Psalm 56:8 NLT

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Remembering...

I just wrote the writing below to send to friends to ask them to pray for you dear ladies and for others who find Mother's Day a difficult time. I pray the Lord is ministering to you right now. Seek out His Word. It is healing balm for a hurting heart.

Love,
Nicole

Dear Friends, it is Mother’s Day. A day of rejoicing, right? Dear Friends, today I call on you to remember and pray for a group of ladies who are hurting, especially on Mother’s Day.

Throughout my day today I have been praying for these ladies.

I’ve been praying for the mom who is grieving the loss of her baby through miscarriage – and many may not have even known about that precious life. It’s a hard grief. She is remembering her hopes and dreams for that little one. Even though she never got to hold this little one, she is remembering…

I’ve been praying for the mom who experienced stillbirth. The world has gone on, but she still remembers. She misses that little precious life. She’s remembering…

I’ve been praying for that mom who has experienced infant loss. She longs to hold that precious little one again. She misses him/her. And for her, much of the world has gone on as well. Today she is remembering and missing her little one…

I’ve been praying for the woman who is struggling to have a child. She is grieving the struggle of infertility. She desires to add a child or another child to their family. She is remembering her hopes and dreams for their family…

I’ve been praying for that mom of an older child who is now with Jesus. It doesn’t make sense to her why the Lord took him/her early. She’s grieving and remembering….

I’ve been praying for the mom whose child died as an adult. We parents expect we’ll be the ones to go first. But that wasn’t God’s plan. That mom is remembering and also grieving for those other family members who are also grieving…

I’ve been praying for the children who won’t get to hug their mommy today. They are remembering and missing her….

I’ve been praying for the adult children who won’t get to tell their mom they love her today. They are remembering…

I’ve been praying for those moms who are seeing their child suffering and perhaps will lose that child soon. Praying for a blessed Mother’s Day with that child. A day full of precious memories…

I’ve been praying for those children whose mom is suffering and perhaps will lose that mom soon. Praying for a blessed Mother’s Day with their mom. A day full of precious memories…

Today can be a very hard day. Let’s take time to remember these grieving people today.

Let’s pray Psalm 147:3 for them: "He [the LORD] heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Let’s pray that they will look to the Lord to heal them – that they will grow to see God as He truly is. That they will look beyond the ashes and look towards the beauty the Lord has for them down the road.

“and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.” Isaiah 61:3

As one who has had bittersweet Mother’s Days in the past due to my grieving babies who have gone to be with the Lord, I thank you for your prayers for these women, men, and children. I praise God that He has revealed to me the beauty for those times of grief and ashes. My prayer is that those who are grieving would be encouraged that God does have a big plan for their life and that this current grief is for but a season – He has a crown of beauty waiting for their future.

I Can Hear Your Voice

Good evening dear ladies. Please forgive me my quietness. I struggle with busyness of our family. Would you ask the Lord to help me with my time management? I long so spend time blogging, yet know that God wants me to put Him first and then my family second. I have not forgotten you and have continued to lift you up in my prayers.

Tonight I listened to a Michael W Smith song. It spoke to my heart and I desire to share it with you. But first, let’s look at the Word of God.

Jesus meets a woman at a well in John Chapter 4. She is there to get water and is there alone. She is a woman who has been living with men who are not her husband. Jesus talks to her at the well and she is amazed at what He knows about her. For the full account, read it here. Jesus tells her about living water that will never make her thirst again.

13Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."

Another passage that talks about water from God is found in Jeremiah 17:7-8

7 "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.
8 He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit."

Dear ladies, dig deep into the Word of God. It is living water to your thirsty soul. When Jesus gives you the water of eternal life, it wells up within you. Yet, we can’t sit stagnant. We have to dig into His Word and trust in Him. The Bible helps us to learn about Him and to remind our feeble minds about His goodness, His mightiness, His holiness.
The song I’m going to share also talks about Jesus singing over me. Did you know dear ladies that the Lord rejoices over you? Now, the Lord is not dependent on our choices. Yet, our following Him. Our allowing Him to be Lord over our lives, he rejoices in that.

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

As you listen to this lovely song by Michael W Smith, thank the Lord for His living water. Remember that He loves you. He has a plan for you. No matter how difficult the circumstances. No matter how many tears you’ve cried today. The Lord is there for you. Come close to Him. Feel His touch. Let His touch heal your heart today. Let Him restore and renew.

I love you ladies – I am praying for you in your grieving. I have seen His faithfulness. He is faithful.



Michael W Smith – I Can Hear Your Voice
I'm in the river that flows from your throne
Water of Life
Water of Life
It Covers me and I breath again
Your love is breath to my soul

I can hear Your voice as You sing over me
It's Your song of Hope breathing life into me
I can feel Your touch as I come close to You
And it heals my heart
You restore and renew